“Letting go of a relationship doesn’t mean it’s forgotten or that you don’t care. Things change, people change. If there’s a relationship that only drains you, maybe it needs to evolve, you may need to evolve, into something different. Maybe you’ve been holding onto the past, or maybe it needs to dissolve.”
– Susanne Broome
We all have good days and bad days. Being authentic with the people in our lives means they’ll see us as we are, not only as we want to be seen. That brings the risk that they may not like us, or may not like to be around us.
It’s not realistic to expect the people in our lives to be perfect all the time, or for us to be perfect. Still, if there’s a continuing pattern of disconnection between partners, it’s best for everyone if one or the other addresses it somehow or another.
Getting clear about the roots of the discord doesn’t require both persons fully understand, although that helps.
Having expectations that our partner will change into the person we expect them to be seems fraught with challenges. While it’s true that people do change over time, does change always come quickly? Do any of use change overnight even when we want to? Will any of us fully measure up to some ideal?
Instead, staying open to the world as it is will bring less frustration. By not being attached to an imagined perfect world, there’s more of a chance for life to surprise and delight us.
“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”
– Joseph Campbell