You don’t have a problem—you have a solution you don’t like.
– AA saying
I notice I keep getting stuck.
Some things just keep happening over and over again in my life.
Being a fixer, I tend to focus on problems and find creative ways to solve them. Maybe I’m that way because of genetics, hormones, or culture? Or, maybe it’s because of training. I’ve spent a lot of time and energy learning how to be more creative, more communicative, collaborative, and how to find ways to work things out. Most of those tools and techniques work.
One of the toughest areas: facing things as they are.
Even tougher is facing up to what I need to change in myself.
After all, when I notice that I am part of the problem (and I always am!) I sometimes get defensive. Why can’t the world change to suit me? Ha!
Byron Katie has a book entitled “Loving What Is” which shows a wonderful way to reach acceptance. She not only shows a simple way to clearly see things as they are, she goes on to show how to cultivate love for both problems and solutions.
Looking at things as they are means we don’t see them as “problems” and “solutions” and instead as the way things are.
Also, seeing how our own beliefs and behaviors are part of both the problems and solutions, and not defensively taking those personally, helps me get over myself and get unstuck.