Dreams, hopes, goals, happiness and flourishing

How to Not Lose

You can’t lose if you take this approach:via Darcy McCarty on Flickr

“To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and whatever you hit call it the target.- Ashliegh Brilliant

While this is one way to avoid losing, it’s also not likely to lead to fulfillment. Instead, you’ll end up with a garagefull of relics gathered through random pot-shots.

How to Not Win

You can’t win if you take this approach:

Set BHAG (Big Hairy Audicious Goals) which are so unrealistic or unclear that you keep yourself in a constant state of failure. Or, make a bucket list with so many enormous goals that it would take several lifetimes to achieve them.

Willy Loman, in Death of a Salesman, sets a widely-read example of someone who created goals for things outside of himself and mostly beyond his control. Read what the blogger Morgan has to say about poor Willy, and see her forward-thinking response.


How to Achieve Happiness, to Flourish, and to Feel Fulfilled

There is a middle way:

Set goals that begin with yourself. Start with those mostly within your control and less about changing others or that rest on the viewpoints of others. Willy’s lessons are that external things don’t bring happiness and don’t bring fulfillment.

Celebrate your progress along your evolutionary path. Yes, the climb out of our primordial muck may seem slow and daunting, yet simply acknowleding even the tiniest forward steps leads to fulfillment.

Look beyond happiness towards flourishing. Flourishing goes beyond momentary happiness to embody the grace of linking your heart to your mind. Opening your heart so it can sing its own song and hear its own drummer can align you with your true purpose and life direction.

Infinite Lovers seek to expand the love they offer. People without love try not to lose love.

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